Soaking It In

With Bran as a newborn, one of my first opportunities as a mom to "soak it in..." I loved watching him laugh at his reflection in our little upstairs bathroom

Life just doesn’t get easy this side of Heaven.

Corbin and I ran into a small grocery store Sunday evening for ice cream and saw an elderly woman hobbling toward her car parked in the handicapped space right near the entrance. As we passed her, I whispered to Corbin, “How can we help her?” Here it was, after 9 pm on a Sunday evening, and she was just feet away from us hunched over her cane with a small bag of groceries. She didn’t necessarily need our help, but my heart went out to her ~ all alone shopping late at night and then driving home. We simply smiled and said hello, and she launched into a story of how she couldn’t find her best cane, she’d looked all over, but this one would do. She finished with a half smile and shrug of her shoulders, “oh well” and climbed into her car.
Where was she driving home to? Should she even be driving? Would anyone be waiting for her at home as she arrived under the dark cover of night?

Several weeks ago I sat across our patio table from my dear friend and her lovely mother as they discussed the nearly two years since losing their father and husband. Said it felt like a blink.
“Tell me about his passing,” I asked.
And as they recounted the events of that shocking, difficult day, this precious woman's eyes moistened as she described being without her husband of nearly fifty years, “It’s so very difficult.”

Life just doesn’t get easy this side of Heaven.

I have this unfounded expectation that we finish school, get married and raise our children, and then coast a bit. I can’t think of one older couple actively pursuing the Lord who are simply coasting. The weight of loved ones struggling, chronic health issues, loneliness, despair with the state of our culture and world... the challenges seem to remain until we meet our Heavenly Father. So ~ I can either choose to carry the weight of the unknown struggles ahead, or I can choose gratitude for this day and soak in the good and the hard. And perhaps the best strategy ~ take one day (one moment) at a time.

One of the few times I've captured her without a huge spunky grin ~ but I love this one

It’s good and hard that our youngest is finished with elementary school and started middle school. No more little bitty ones in our home. (She will always be little!!) Soaking it in.

I just love her so completely

It’s good and hard that our almost-fourteen-year-old looks more like a woman than a child. She is growing up beautifully and seems comfortable in her own skin. She is sensitive to others’ feelings yet doesn’t feel guilty if things go well for her. I learn so much from her steady countenance. Soaking it in.

Has there ever been a sweeter face??!

It’s good and hard that Hud chose to leave his childhood friends and comfort zone and move schools to be with his big brother. Watching them suited up on Friday nights - in the same uniforms, on the same team  - it’s too much. Soaking it in.

The "wrestling window" is smaller than we think

It’s good and hard that our oldest has started his senior year. Eight more months at home, and then as he says, “I’ll probably never live in Fort Worth again.” Who knows, but I sure believe that’s a possibility. We’re in our “lasts” together as a family living under one roof. Soaking it in.

Well this is enough to make my eyes a little misty, but there is just so much good mixed into the hard. And this broad overview of our current season isn't even getting into the nitty-gritty of the daily good and hards! The way I see it, the years stretched ahead will continue to be a mix.

Amy Grant has a song on one of her latest albums, "Better Not to Know" ~ here's the chorus:

Oh, it's better not to know
The way it's gonna go
What will die and what will grow.
Oh, nothing stays the same
Life flickers like a flame,
As the seasons come and go
Goodbye more than hello
It's better not to know

I love that song. At first glance it can sound a little depressing, that it's better not to know the struggles ahead. But we also don't know the joys.

That elderly woman at the grocery store, I don't know her story or situation. But the lovely grandmother sitting across my patio table ~ as she grieves her husband, she also wakes every morning in a lovely home and in good health to the cacophony of her daughter's vivacious family. Three amazing grandsons still living under their roof all together, and she has great purpose as the matriarch of that family, sharing their daily struggles and joys.

We can take such comfort in the Lord's command to not worry about tomorrow, that today has enough concerns. Let us just soak in today and look forward to tomorrow with our chins up, knowing that He holds the good and the hard, and He will equip us as we go. 

Life will not get easy this side of Heaven. But we've got our Heavenly Father's promises and His presence, and we've got all of Heaven with no tears, no sadness, and no pain. Until then - may we soak it all in.

And here's to hoping we can enjoy lots of laughter in the process!